Tuesday, 28 February 2017

What does it feel like for me at the moment?


25 January 2017

Try picking-up a wet cake of soap whilst wearing a wet plastic oven-mitt - you get the idea. That's about the best way to describe how my MS is affecting me.

It's not a loss of muscle strength, grip, or motor skills. It's this strange pins'n'needles makes it a weird feeling trying to... pick-up a dropped pen off the floor... pick-up soap in the shower... putting a key in a lock... typing... doing up shirt buttons... writing-by-hand... sewing (hand and machine... tho I haven't tried, yet!)... wiping my butt (lol)... I have to concentrate when using a sharp knife, like when chopping veggies etc, just ordinary day-to-day things like that. Just general clumsiness (more than normal, that is). I have the sensation of hot and cold (thankfully), but the effects make things feel kinda "slippery" or "spongy" to my touch (it's weird to try to explain it).

Playing guitar is a challenge, let's admit it. But I can do it, albeit pretty clumsily. It's hard to describe, but it's like playing by rote... my brain tells my left-fingers how to finger a chord/play a series of notes, but the fingers don't always land exactly where they're supposed to... from years of playing, my fingers kind-of automatically know where they should go! That's the 'playing by rote' bit, I think.

A few weeks ago, when things started to 'come a whole lot better' again, I remember smiling happily during a band rehearsal (yes, I am playing jazz with Pengopuss again - thank you, guys!), as I told the others that "My fingers hurt! That means I can feel them!" It was a huge improvement to how it was a few weeks earlier!

When I was in hospital for five days (back in early December), I was on high-level steroids (to reduce the auto-immune symptoms), including a "lumbar puncture" (no fun, I assure you!). My symptoms at that time were: My whole right arm, from elbow to hand, was quite numb and useless. It affected me all the up to my elbow (on my right arm), my left hand/fingertips, across my torso-front (chest), the inside of both knees, and the tips of my toes. It even affected the way I walked - the inner-knee numbness made me roll like an old sailor a bit, when I walked - that made me laff!

Thank goodness that now (c. 6 weeks later) I'm only experiencing pins and needles in both my hands. Everything else cleared away, after the steroid treatment.
So now, even typing can be a challenge! Typos are common - like right now, using my laptop (I don't have a smartphone or handheld device) - thank goodness for spellcheckers (which find most of my "dizzy-fingers" typos!)

It's all very frustrating, but I'm not depressed or unsettled by it all, to be honest. That surprises me, but I'm fully aware that there are people with this condition who have it a LOT worse off than I ever will!




Peas be with ewe 
Mal

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